Quast

The heat is on. You can literally feel it arcing between you. Whether its an enticing stranger youve just met or a special someone youve been slowly getting to know, youre aware that now is the time to take your connection to the physical level. You can sense that shes about ready to hop into bed and you damn well know that you are. So how do you make this first time with someone new a glorious moment youll both fondly remember rather than a nightmare youd just as soon forget?

The first thing to zero in on is attitude. What exactly is it you want from this coming sexual encounter -- a lusty one night romp or the beginning of a longstanding passionate relationship?

There certainly is nothing wrong with a one-night stand. There is something extremely exciting about sex with a stranger, with absolutely no strings attached. Many women feel this way, not only men. What we all have to be careful about is simply using the other person, treating them as an object only for our satisfaction.

No one likes being treated as an object. No one likes being used for someone elses purpose. Men typically use women as sex objects. But just as often women treat men as success objects. What does it mean to treat a person as an object? It means you use that person to get what you want without particular regard to what happens to them or how they feel. At one extreme you would not even care if you actually cause harm. More frequently harm is not intended, but the well being of the person you are using is of little or no concern to you. What is of concern to you is to get what you want, which in this case is sex.

When you want sex and you do anything necessary to get it you are using the woman as a sex object. You may lie and otherwise be deceitful about what is really going on. You may pretend to care or be interested in her, but all you really want is to get laid. After you get what you want, you disappear and she never hears from you again. You dont call. You may not even say hello on the street. You may feel contempt or disgust toward her for having had sex with you. But this is really a disguised form of self-contempt and self-hatred projected onto women. It is very unhealthy and in the long run will leave you alone, lonely, bitter and cynical. This is hardly a prescription for happiness.

Quick sex between consenting adults is not about using each other as an object, assuming both of you understand what is happening, and no deceit is involved. We call this scenario no-strings sex. With no-strings sex, both parties understand that it is not intended that you will ever see each other again. You do not exchange addresses or phones or personal histories. This situation ranks high on the list of most common fantasy for both men and women. The sex may be extremely hot and passionate. Both lovers may feel an extraordinary freedom and be willing to let go completely, dropping their usual sexual shyness and restraint. Often they will experiment with and allow themselves to enjoy what they would only dream of doing, but never allow themselves to do with someone they knew or were in an ongoing relationship with. They may experiment with things they did not even dream were possible.

There are only two rules for no-strings sex. They are very simple rules.

Rule #1: Mutual consent for everything is mandatory. By mutual consent we mean that all aspects of your lovemaking are agreed to by both. You meet together on the sexual playing field as equals. No one gets physically hurt. When your partner says I dont want to do that or stop, that hurts you must stop instantly. This is where no always means no.

Rule #2: Dont try to find her later!

The other type of first time encounter is with someone with whom you intend to have an ongoing relationship. We will call this scenario relationship sex. With relationship sex, it is understood by both of you that there may be an ongoing relationship after the sex. In fact, it would be quite normal for relationship sex to take place after you have been seeing each other for some time. In this scenario sex is not the start of the relationship, but a deepening of it. It is also quite common for a relationship to start with a sexual encounter. If the sex rocks the earth, or even if it is just pretty good, you may want to go further into relationship to see if you can connect on other important levels and make something work together in the longer run. This could evolve into living together or even marriage.

The first rule for no-strings sex also applies to relationship sex. 1. Mutual consent for everything is mandatory. In addition to this rule there are a few others to keep in mind. 2. Great respect is mandatory. 3. Great caring is mandatory. 4. Open, honest communication is mandatory. 5. Gentleness is used as required, and roughness is used as mutually desired.

The Rules

1.Mutual consent for everything is mandatory. If you do not both enjoy it, what is the point? Remember, we are not using each other, we are loving each other. It is certainly all right for one partner to try things because the other person likes it even if they dont, but this is a gift freely given and cannot be required.

2.Great respect is mandatory. Respect implies that you are aware of what the other person wants. You are willing to discover what they are capable of and what their sexual limits are. Your lover may have been injured psychologically or emotionally from past relationships. In fact this will almost certainly be the case, almost everyone has had their heart broken at least once. At the extreme, they may have experienced sexual abuse as a child. They may feel insecure about their sexuality. They may suffer from low self-esteem as a lover. They may be quite inexperienced in sexual technique. You must be extremely patient and ever so sensitive to the messages they send out about how fast to proceed, what to do and not do. Talk openly to establish the boundaries of your sexuality. Then experiment to push back the boundaries at a pace you can both find comfortable and safe.

3.Great caring is mandatory. Love is always given and received as a gift. It has been said that there is no such thing as bad sex, that sex without love can still be great sex, but sex with caring adds a warmth that connects two hearts and souls together. This is sex beyond technique. Sex with caring leaves the lovers filled. Sex with love leaves the lovers overflowing. It is caring that moves sex beyond the physical to allow for the creation of a deeper spiritual connection. Most men want an emotional connection and most would welcome a more spiritual experience of sex, but they are afraid and they just havent learned how to do it yet. Most women quite frankly, require the emotional connection as the price of entry.

4.Gentleness is used as required, and roughness is used as mutually desired. With mutual consent anything goes. But it is usually best to start out with more gentleness and progress to more roughness only as you learn that she wants it and likes it. Many women like a playful roughness as long as they feels truly safe. But if you have not established a high degree of trust with her, roughness prematurely can end what could have been an excellent long-term sexually passionate relationship.

5.Open, honest communication is mandatory. Talk about sex. Tell each other what you like and dislike. A good way to do this is to always offer choices A and B and ask which she likes best. This avoids the damage to fragile egos that young men are so prone to when they are learning about a new lover. If a man hears, I dont like that it is very easy for him to have his feelings hurt and this may cause him to withdraw, or get angry, or react in some dysfunctional way. But if you give your women, for example, the choice between fondling her breasts this way, or this way, and ask which is best, you will not have your feelings hurt, and you will quickly learn what she really likes. This is how a lover becomes a great lover.

If you need to have your imagination stimulated to know what to try, read any of several great lovers manuals available in good bookstores everywhere. Then use the A-or-B technique to find out about your woman specifically. Here are a few titles to look for. You can order these from our web site if you cant find them in your local bookstore.

Soul Sex: Tantra for Two, by Pala Copeland and Al Link
The Art of Sexual Ecstasy: The Path of Sacred Sexuality for Western Lovers by Margo Anand
How to Make Love All Night (And Drive a Woman Wild: Male Multiple Orgasm and Other Secrets for Prolonged Lovemaking) by Barbary Keesling
The New Male Sexuality by Bernie Zilbergeld
How to Overcome Premature Ejaculation by Helen Singer Kaplan

Once youve honestly considered your attitude you can move into the physical aspects of loving: like the setting, foreplay, afterplay and all the juicy bits in between. In the East there is a long tradition of the warrior lover a man who has prepared himself physically, emotionally and mentally for the great and glorious battle between the sheets. This is not for dominating or defeating your lover but for skillfully bringing out the best in both of you so you can rise to new heights in your sexuality.

The idea of creating the right ambience for lovemaking may seem artificial or calculated, but there is an art to great loving and why not bring out the artist in yourself? A secluded place, candlelight, music, wine, food and clean sheets may sound like a trite scene from an old James Bond movie but they still hold true. Women love to be adored and creating a special place for loving shows that you care about what they want too.

It has become common knowledge that foreplay is very important in bringing a woman to sexual satisfaction. She takes longer to become aroused to the point where she can match you in intensity of desire. But what is also essential is afterplay. When youve come to a happy climax dont just roll over and go to sleep or get up and go home. Even though your hormones may be telling you youre finished, your lover wont be. Take the time and make the effort to show your appreciation and caring through some tender cuddling and soft words or by sharing some food and conversation. Youll benefit too from staying in loves sweet afterglow.

Finally, it shouldnt have to be said but it still does, always, always practice safe sex. Use condoms and dental dams until you are certain youre in a completely monogamous relationship and youve both had AIDS tests. Remember good first time sex with someone means no one gets hurt, during loving or afterwards.

Al Link and Pala Copeland own and operate 4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra. They regularly host Tantra Sacred Loving weekends near Ottawa Canada, and weeklong retreats in exotic locations around the planet. For more information call toll free from Canada or USA: 1-800-684-5308 International long distance: 1-819-689-5308. Visit their website http://www.tantra-sex.com/ or send email: 4freedoms@tantraloving.com Their book, Soul Sex: Tantra for Two, is published by New Page Books, 2003.

Everyone goes to the dentist's office -- or at least everyone should. But toothcare involves more than just the dentist these days. The task of getting your smile to sparkle -- and helping it stay that way! -- is left to the dental hygienist.

Cleaning Day-to-Day
Dental hygienists clean your teeth by removing soft and hard deposits from that build up over time. They also tell patients how to practice proper oral hygiene so as to prevent diseases and abnormalities in your mouth from occurring. From removing stains and plaque to performing root planning in periodontal therapy, dental hygienists take care of plenty of procedures. Not only do they keep your teeth pretty, they also take and develop dental X-rays and apply cavity-preventive agents like fluorides and fissure sealants for dentists.

Although dental hygienists don't diagnose diseases -- that's the dentist's job -- they sometimes prepare lab tests for the dentist to interpret later. These skills are refined in dental hygienist schools, and on-the-job experience thereafter. They also perform duties of a teeth confidant. They may explain the correlation of diet and oral health so patients know how to take care of their teeth daily. They might even tell patients what kind of toothbrushes to use, and how to brush and floss their teeth. They're lifesavers, really, because in the long run taking care of your teeth may prevent gum disease and other oral problems.

Dental Work Landscape
Once a student is done with a dental hygienist program, he or she will have the pleasure of flexible scheduling in a rewarding, lucrative career. Whether you want to work full time, part time, evening, or weekends, many hours are widely available. In fact, dentists frequently hire dental hygienists to work only two or three days a week. This way, dental hygienists who have had their training at appropriate dental hygienist schools have the opportunity to hold jobs at multiple dental offices.

Keep in mind, dental hygienists must adhere to certain health safeguards like proper radiological procedures, and the use of appropriate protective devices when administering anesthetic gas. Training for these procedures occur at dental hygienist schools.

Dental Hygienist Licensing
With any impressive career, hard work is involved. When it comes to becoming a dental hygienist, for instance, you must enroll at one of many dental hygienist schools. In order to be employed as a dental hygienist, you must be licensed by the state in which you plan to practice in. In order to qualify for a license, you must graduate from an accredited dental hygienist school, as well as pass both a written and clinical exam.

Now that you know the roles of a dental hygienist, as well as what working in the field entails, research and learn about becoming licensed. Take the appropriate courses at one of many dental hygienist schools and start your training!

To find college and career schools near you, surf http://www.CollegeSurfing.com

Copyright 2007
The CollegeBound Network
All Rights Reserved

Ysolt Usigan is a frequent contributor to The CollegeBound Network. Learn more about finding a school or career that's right for you!

QUESTION:

How long should I keep my tax returns?

ANSWER:

One of the questions I am asked most often, both as an accountant and as a tax preparer, is how long should you hold on to records and files, receipts and bills, and the like.

First of all, it is my belief that you should keep the paper copy of your tax returns (Form 1040 or 1040A plus all supporting Schedules and Forms) forever! This provides a permanent record of your financial history. You never know when the information on a prior year's tax return will come in handy for a variety of tax or financial related reasons, or just to satisfy personal curiosity.

The time period for keeping all other records ties in to the fact that the IRS, and the appropriate state tax authorities, has three (3) years from the due date (or filing date if you had any extensions) of a tax return to audit that return (except in the case of tax fraud - then the IRS can go back forever). If you filed your 2002 Form 1040 by the initial April 15, 2003 due date, "Uncle Sam" has until April 17, 2006 to audit it and ask for additional taxes.

I recommend keeping all back-up documentation that supports an item reported or deducted on your tax return for four (4) full years. This includes all applicable bank statements and cancelled checks as well as W-2s, 1099s, 1098s, and appropriate receipts and bills. You can toss all such information for your 2002 tax return in December of 2006.

Hold on to your individual pay stubs for the year until you have received the Form W-2 for that year. Reconcile the year-to-date cumulative totals on the last pay stub for the year to the amounts reported on the W-2. If they match you can throw out all but the last pay stub. Keep the final pay stub for the year, with year-end cumulative numbers, with your tax return documentation for that year.

Certain documentation requires longer holding periods. For investments in stock, bonds and mutual funds you should keep all confirms and other appropriate back-up, such as notices of splits and records of any dividend reinvestments, for as long as you hold the investment plus four (4) additional years. You should keep the confirmation slip or other documentation for the sale or disposition of the investment for four (4) years after the sale or disposition.

Similarly, if you own real estate you should keep all Closing or Settlement Statements for the purchase and refinancing of the property, and documentation of any capital improvements, for as long as you own the property plus four (4) additional years. You should keep the Closing or Settlement Statement or other documentation for the sale or disposition of the property for four (4) years after the sale or disposition.

If you have invested in a limited partnership or "sub-chapter S" corporation, or are a partner in a business organized as a partnership, a "sub-chapter S" corporation or an LLC or LLP, you should keep the annual Form K-1 you receive from the investment or business for as long as you own an interest in the entity plus four (4) additional years, and keep any paperwork related to the sale or disposition of your interest for four (4) years after the sale or disposition.

Receipts and bills for personal expenses that are not related to any items reported or deducted on your tax return can generally be tossed after one year. Throw out all such bills for calendar year 2004 in January of 2006. You may want to keep bills, receipts and cancelled checks for equipment, applicance and the like for at least as long as these items are covered under warranty.

Do you have a question you would like to Ask The Tax Pro? Go to http://rdftaxpro.tripod.com/taxhelp.

Robert D Flach is a tax professional with 34 tax seasons of experience preparing 1040s for individuals in all walks of life. He writes and publishes the free monthly online newsletter STUFF AND SUCH (http://rdftaxpro.tripod.com/stuffandsuch) and several other websites, as well as several print newsletters and reports on tax planning and preparation. For more information on his websites go to http://rdftaxpro.tripod.com/websites.

For the first time ever, the anti-impotence drug Viagra will be sold over-the-counter in the UK. A UK pharmacy called Boots Manchester will launch sales of over-the-counter Viagra starting of course this Wednesday, (Valentines Day).

Traditionally the only way to acquire the male impotence drug was through a doctor after a check up and proper diagnosis. Starting Wednesday, any man between the ages of 30 and 65 years of age will be able to walk into the pharmacy, and after a short screening and consultation, receive a bottle containing 4 Viagra pills for 50 pounds ($97).

The examination will include questions on medical history, a checked blood pressure and glucose levels, as well as checking your cholesterol. If more pills are wanted, a mandatory more thorough appointment is required which costs 37.5 pounds.

Viagra which is produced by Pfizer, has been taken by over 25 million men across the globe. Viagra is also the most popular impotence medication in the world, generating billions in revenue each of the last few years and will till its patent expires in 2010.

Critics believe that the small amount allowed for over-the-counter purchase is used to bait the consumer into buying a more extensive supply, and ultimately having to visit a doctor for a prescription anyway. Furthermore the release on Valentines Day, one of the most sexually promiscuous days of the year, has led many critics to believe that Pfizer is pushing the product not only to cure erectile dysfunction, but to promote recreational use as well.

For more information on ordering from online foreign pharmacies.

Cathlene Martinez has established herself as a pioneer in the online pharmaceutical resource industry. She has been innovating the industry since 2000 and is currently the president of http://www.freebeeforeignpharmacy.com For more information on ordering from an online foreign pharmacy.